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CATS

do not attempt read this page for more than ten minutes at a time. it is poorly designed and will hurt your eyes and brain
comic neue is cruise control for kewl 😎. r these colors bright enough? m i a front end dev yet? vote here

THE PURNEZ FAMILY 2024

Magic
Jazz
Zoey

C.A.T. STATS

Magic

Characteristics
  • Born 2021, Jazz's sister
  • smol, too smol to meow correctly
  • Doesn't care about you 99% of the time, but will yell at you to pet her
Abilities
  • Can hide in plain sight
  • Knows how to move the computer mouse
  • Can bring her entire body to the lowest possible atomic energy level, freezing in place for hours at a time
Trivia
  • Planeswalker: runs a white-green Ajani cat deck
  • Named for the Queen song "It's a kind of Magic"
  • Does know real magic, but sees no need to use it
Jazz

Characteristics
  • Born 2021, Magic's brother
  • Paranoid, voted most cowardly cat of 2023
  • Hates the vet
Abilities
  • Sleeping for an entire day so he can annoy his sister at night
  • Purrs in odd-time signatures
  • jazz hands
Trivia
  • Named for the Queen album "Jazz"
  • Cannot actually play jazz, but enjoys the guitar
Zoey

Characteristics
  • Born 2015
  • actually crazy. Forced the other cats to a separate part of the house because she won't stop fighting them
  • Pokes you when you're not looking
Abilities
  • Understands political protest (in the form of pooping on the floor)
  • Full working knowledge of UPS power supplies and how to turn them off to wake me up
Trivia
  • Named for the alliteration with "Ziggy" (RIP), and because of David Bowie's son "Zowie Bowie"
  • Unclear if she ever actually sleeps or just waits

THE OUTSIDERS

Mama

she camera shy...

Snape

IN MEMORIAM

Ziggy

(2005 - 2021) R.I.P.

Shadow

Not a cat, but she loved them!

(2001 - 2017) R.I.P.

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