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-
- CONSTRUCTION PROJECT:
- ATOMIC BOMB
-
- The following paper is taken from The Journal of Irreproducible Results,
- Volume 25/Number 4/1979-P.O.Box 234 Chicago Heights,Illinois 60411.
-Subscriptions are 1 year for $3.70
-
-1. INTRODUCTION
-
- Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from several court
-decisions in the United States which have restricted popular magazines from
-printing articles which describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason
-usually given by the courts is that national security would be compromised
-if such information were generally available. But, since it is commonly known
-that all of the information is publicly available in most major metropolitan
-libraries, obviously the court's officially stated position is covering up a
-more important factor; namely, that such atomic devices would prove too
-difficult for the average citizen to construct. The United States courts
-cannot afford to insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do not
-have the intelligence of a cabbage, and thus the "official" press releases
-claim national security as a blanket restriction.
-
- The rumors that have unfortunately occurred as a result of widespread
-misinformation can (and must) be cleared up now, for the construction project
-this month is the construction of a thermonuclear device, which will hopefully
-clear up any misconceptions you might have about such a project. We will see
-how easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten easy steps, to have and
-hold as you see fit, without annoying interference from the government or the
-courts.
-
- The project will cost between $5,000 and $30,000 dollars, depending on how
-fancyyou want the final product to be. Since last week's column, "Let's Make
-a TimeMachine", was received so well in the new step-by-step format, this
-month's column will follow the same format.
-
-2. CONSTRUCTION METHOD
-
-1. First, obtain about 50 pounds (110 kg) of weapons grade Plutonium at your
-local supplier (see NOTE 1). A nuclear power plant is not recommended, as
-large quantities of missing Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy.
-We suggest that you contact your local terrorist organization, or perhaps the
-Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.
-
-2. Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is
-somewhat dangarous. Wash your hands with soap and warm water after handling
-the material, and don't allow your children or pets to play in it or eat it.
-Any left over Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish
-to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk
-yard, but an old coffee can will do nIcely.
-
-3. Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most common
-varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for
-example, a briefcase, alunch pail, or a Buick. Do not use tinfoil.
-
-4. Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes, separated by about 4
-cm. Use rubber cement to hold thePlutonium dust together. Gelignite is much
-better,but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man will be happy to
-provide you withthis item.
-
-6. Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If
-you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed in with Playdo or any
-modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy
-at this point.
-
-7. Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 3. Use
-a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemisphere arrangement against
-the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation which might result from
-vibration or mishandling.
-
-8. To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as
-found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a minimum of effort, a remote
-plunger can be made that will strike a detonator cap to effect a small
-explosion. These detonator caps can be found in the electrical supply section
-of your local supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
-they are no deposit-no return.
-
-9. Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and children. The garage
-is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of
-temperatures experienced there. Nuclear devices have been known to
-spontaneousLy detonate in these unstable conditions. The hall closet or under
-the kitchen sink will be perfectly suitable.
-
-10. Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear device! It is a
-great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch, can be used for national defense.
-
-3. THEORY OF OPERATION
-
- The device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses the Plutonium
-into a critical mass. The critical mass then produces a nuclear chain reaction
-similar to the domino chain reaction (discussed in this column, "Dominos on the
-March" March, 1968). The chain reaction then promptly produces a big
-thermonuclear reaction. And there you have it, a 10 megaton explosion!
-
-4. NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN
-
- In next month's column, we will learn how to clone your neighbor's wife in
- six easy steps. This project promises to be an exciting weekend full of fun
-and profit. Common kitchen utensils will be all you need. See you next month!
-
-5. NOTES
-
-1. Plutonium (PU), atomic number 94, is a radioactive metaLlic element formed
-bythe decay of Neptunium and is similar in chemical structure to Uranium,
-Saturium, Jupiternium, and Marsium.
-
-6. PREVIOUS MONTH'S COLUMNS
-
-1. Let's Make Test Tube Babies! May, 1979
-2. Let's Make a Solar System! June, 1979
-3. Let's Make an Economic Recession! July, 1979
-4. Let's Make an Anti-Gravity Machine! August, 1979
-5. Let's Make Contact with an Alien Race! September, 1979
-
-Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
-
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